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Literature Text
His shoulders are pointed wings
folded around his core.
Nervous jerks flutter
invisible feathers.
His Adam's apple falls.
folded around his core.
Nervous jerks flutter
invisible feathers.
His Adam's apple falls.
I watched this guy way too long for a poem this short...
Should it be expanded? Are the line breaks okay, or are they a little awkward?
for #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
Should it be expanded? Are the line breaks okay, or are they a little awkward?
for #theWrittenRevolution: [link]
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Comments18
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The lines read a little awkwardly, which I think adds depth to the poem.
I would like to say you should make it longer but it works on the short. It also has this serreptitious feeling of someone admiring another from a distance, too shy to make an advance yet unable to walk away.
I would like to say you should make it longer but it works on the short. It also has this serreptitious feeling of someone admiring another from a distance, too shy to make an advance yet unable to walk away.